Cloth Diapering: Not As Bad As You Stink

When I was pregnant I never ever dreamed I would cloth diaper my baby. I had an image in my mind that involved safety pins, putrid diaper pails, and a mommy up to her elbows in poo. But, when Shiloh was 4 months old, I read a statistic:

An estimated 27.4 billion disposable diapers are used each year in the US, resulting in a possible 3.4 million tons of used diapers adding to landfills each year.

Did you get that? Twenty seven BILLION each YEAR just in the United States ALONE! That was too much for my little tree-hugging heart to bear. I had to know more. So, I started researching. I read about the effects of disposable and cloth diapers on the environment. I talked to cloth diapering moms, and tried to determine if this was a viable, sustainable endeavor for our family. The more I researched, the more I became excited about it and convinced that this was something I wanted to try.

So, we took the plunge. I bought mostly GroVia and Flip diapers. Both of these are the "hybrid" or "cover/insert" system of diaper, which consist of a cloth insert and a waterproof diaper cover. The inner insert gets soiled and changed, but as long as the outer cover is clean, it can be reused. I like this system because it makes for less laundry than other "all in one" diapers where the entire diaper needs to be laundered after each use. GroVia diapers even have a snap-together system so the insert and the cover are sure to stay in place! In fact, all of our diapers are snap or velcro closures so there's not a safety pin in sight!

I immediately loved cloth diapering. As with anything new there is a learning curve for sure, but especially while Shiloh was exclusively breastfeeding, the cleanup was a breeze. It just worked for me. Of course when we introduced solids into her diet, things became more interesting. Which brings me to the biggest thing folks are afraid of when they imagine cloth diapering: 

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE P O O ? ?

The answer is simple. You put it where it belongs: in the toilet. 

This is one of the great benefits of cloth for me, the poo is immediately flushed and not sitting in my house, where it will then be transferred to rot in a landfill somewhere. It is disposed of and then treated as it should be. I like that. I also use these awesome liners that "catch" the poo and are completely flushable (think of strong tissue paper). So when there is a dirty diaper I just take it to the bathroom, hold it over the potty, and flush. That's it!

I use a regular old trash can with a lid for the cloth diaper pail, and then just dump the whole thing into the wash every few days. A drop or two of tea tree oil keeps any odor at bay. I actually like how it smells! I am a person who really hates doing laundry, so when I tell you it's not that bad, you can believe me. Otherwise I would have stopped a long time ago.

Now, I am fully aware that cloth diapers have their own impact on the environment. They use large amounts of water and energy every time they are laundered. So, here are the things I'm doing to combat our carbon footprint:

~ I only wash full loads of diapers

~ I line dry my diapers whenever possible

~ I plan to use these diapers for future children

~ We bought "one size" diapers that grow with our baby, so we only need one set

I like to think that by implementing these few things, we are decreasing our family's impact on the environment. At least I know that our pile of diapers in the local landfill will be a small one.

That said, there are times when we use disposables. If we're traveling it's a no-brainer, as well as when Shiloh goes to preschool. We also reached a point when she was 11 or 12 months old where we switched to using a disposable at night because of the sheer amount of liquid that needed to be contained. Who knew someone less than a year old could hold Niagara Falls in her bladder?!

All in all, I love cloth. Some of the other benefits of cloth for us include a HUGE cost savings, a drastic decrease in diaper leaks and/or explosions, and the simple fact that they are downright cute. :) So, if you're considering cloth, please don't be intimidated. Give it a try! Reach out to a cloth diapering friend or a cloth diapering community. In Charlotte The Milky Way and The Baby Grocery Store are two fabulous places to get you started and each offer their own (free!) cloth diapering classes. There are also tons of online communities that offer support and even sell and trade diapers as well. I would also be happy to answer any questions you may have.

Having said all that, however, cloth diapering isn't for everyone. Each parent has to make their own decision about what is best for them and their child, so no judgment here if you choose disposables. This is just what works for us. To each his own! 

So whatever that choice may be for you and yours, happy bottoms to you, and good luck with whatever your diapers hold today! :)

Guilt, Part 1

I love to watch the Ellen Show. She is generous, kind-hearted and so SO funny. One day during my pregnancy while I was watching the show, Ellen was interviewing a celebrity who had recently become a mom for the first time. When she asked her guest about the biggest surprise motherhood had brought her, her answer came quickly, "The guilt." 

The GUILT?! Shoot. I'm doomed. I could not have been more surprised by her answer.

You see, I was born with a guilty conscious. I feel guilty at the drop of a hat, often for unwarranted reasons. I was raised attending an ultra conservative church, in which each week I walked out feeling guilty for not being a better person and/or Christian. It has been a consistent theme throughout my life.

Smash cut to today and it is no mystery why I feel guilt for so many illegitimate reasons. My circumstances are different than they were when I was a child yet so many of my emotions and thought processes are the same. Call it people-pleasing, over-analyzing, or whatever you'd like. Whatever its name, it is a hard way to live.

We live in the information age. There is no excuse not to be educated about the topics you care about. This is an asset and a privilege. It is also a burden. We have unlimited access to as many books, articles, blogs, and opinions we care to consume. Whatever the opinion/statistic, there is someone somewhere who thinks the exact opposite and can find statistics to support it. For those of us who want to be sure we're doing to the exact right thing every time (like Superwoman), this is a breeding ground for guilt.

For example, The American Academy of Pediatrics 
recommends that children under 2 years of age not watch any TV. None. It is linked to things like obesity and high blood pressure even in children. This is why when I sometimes put on Curious George for my daughter while I'm making dinner or taking a shower, the Guilt Monster is screeching in my ear. "There is scientific evidence showing that TV is detrimental to your child's brain! You're not doing what's best for your daughter. You know better and you're doing it anyway. Shame on you."

I realize this is unhealthy and at least partially untrue, but it is a daily issue for me. And the reality is, "TV under 2" is a fairly benign example of an ocean of issues. Pick your poison: think you've come up with a healthy snack? Dig a little deeper. There is arsenic in those fruit leathers if you look close enough...or at least there is a health guru somewhere telling you that is the last thing you or your child should be putting into your bodies. 

Right when you started to feel good about the choice you made, you are inclined toward guilt once again. I repeat: this is a hard way to live. It is particularly miserable when the issues relate to the health and well-being of your child. Everything is portrayed to be a life or death scenario and anyone who disagrees is jeopardizing the welfare of their child. 

Guilt in itself is not a bad thing. It serves a purpose. It is how our conscience lets us know that we've done something wrong. The problem for many of us comes when we feel illegitimate guilt for things we've done that are not wrong. But like I said, someone somewhere probably disagrees with whatever it is you are doing, and their opinion (and their scientific study to back it up) is only a Google away.

Thankfully this has been less of an issue for me in recent days (which is probably why I am at a place where I can write about it.) Maybe others out there will resonate with this, or maybe one day if my children have children they will read this and realize it's OK to ease up on themselves a bit as parents. 

What I Wish I Knew

I have been a momma for 17 months. And although most days I can barely remember life without a child, relatively speaking 17 months is not a long time; so, before 17 months turns into 17 years, I want to chronicle some things while they are still fresh. With any luck they'll be useful to someone else, too. 

Here are five things I wish someone would have sat me down and said to me before I became a parent:

* Becoming a parent is indescribably beautiful. Whether you give birth to a child, adopt a child, or become a guardian in another way, any time a child comes into your life you are changed forever. While I was pregnant I heard much about sleepless nights, diaper explosions, and other horror stories that experienced parents inexplicably inflict onto soon-to-be parents; but, what I didn't know was that the joy, beauty, and wonder a child brings into your life is more than worth all of that other stuff. I am astounded at how much I absolutely love being a mom (see the post "Surprises"). It is a beautiful thing to pour into a little life and watch it grow.

* Take no one's advice. (Okay, someone did tell me this, but it is worth repeating.) God gave this child to you. You are the perfect parent for them, and they are the perfect child for you. Whether you call it providence, fate, or chance, your lives have crossed and you are the one(s) who will know this child best. Yes, there is much to be gleaned from the wisdom of others and there is certainly a place for that; however, at the end of the day you must make your own choices about how to raise your child. There is an intricate but elegant dance between the weight of this responsibility and the gift of its honor.

* There is no secret combo. This was an expectation I didn't know I had: if I have fed, burped, changed, swaddled, and soothed my baby, she should be happy. Right? WRONG. I think I knew this in theory, but in practice I was shocked! Why is my baby still crying after I have met every one of her needs that I can possibly think of? Why won't she go to sleep?! This is when you must remember the previous point. Your instinct is your best asset. Go with it. There isn't a secret combination to your child's happiness; and, just when you think you may have found one, it will change. Which leads me to my next thought...

* Murphy's Law becomes your new life rule. It becomes exponentially more true in your life when you have children. Think your situation can't get any worse? It will. Can it go wrong? It will. That day that you all have the stomach flu (the two-ender of course) and you just don't think you will make it, will absolutely positively without question become the day that the dog runs away, the power goes out, your basement floods, your car won't start, and your hair catches fire. Not even kidding. I used to think that these kinds of things were just funny things parents said for attention or sympathy. But no. They say it because it's true. You have been warned.

* Guilt and worry are your new BFF's. At least they are for me, and most of my mommy-friends. I remember being out-of-my-mind worried about SIDS. Here you are with your beautiful, brand new bundle of joy, and all of the experts are warning you about the very real possibility that your baby could suddenly and without cause, die. It is a very real and tragic occurrence for many families, so it is worth worrying about. But it doesn't stop there. Each new stage brings new worries. And the guilt. OH, the GUILT. Are you a working mom? You'll feel guilty for being away from your child. Stay-at-home-mom? You'll feel guilty for not helping to provide financially. Get a little bored with the same-old-mundane-every-day routine? You'll feel guilty for not "cherishing every moment". Live close to grandparents? You'll feel guilty for how often you ask them to watch the kids. Live far away from grandparents? You'll feel guilty for how infrequently they get to see the kids. You catch my drift. Whatever you do, you will always wonder if you could have done it differently or better. That is part of the gig, and part of the great adventure.

What kinds of things do you wish you knew before becoming a parent? Let me know in the comments below!